This is the episode that I have been waiting for. I finally sat down with my father and my sons to discuss the history of fatherhood in my family. “What I wish my father told me” is not an indictment on my father, or on me for that matter. The fatherhood journey is nuanced and more dynamic than static at any stage. For every meaningful lesson that I learned late, I want my sons to learn earlier (from my experience when possible).

We talked through the positive and negative tendencies that have been consistent in my family for generations. While some ideologies continued out of tradition, we found others to be very intentionally passed down for good reason. Everyone had a voice. For context, my youngest son was seven at the time of this recording, and, my father, 84…everyone had a voice. I spent parts of the conversation intrigued, proud, envious, and ultimately grateful. We need more of this.

My father counseled us on the value of painful experiences. Sometimes these are necessary to develop a man’s character, his sense of worth, and his moral compass. I understand the principle very well, yet I struggle with allowing my sons (or any of my children) to experience hurt when I can prevent it. This is a disservice to them in some regards…I’m working on it.

There’s so much more to say, and that’s what the episode provides. Listen all the way through to get the greatest value. Have you had a conversation like this with your family? If not, what is the roadblock preventing it? As always, I welcome your feedback and perspective. It takes a village.

#fatherhood #daddyissues #accountable #blackfathers #fatherandson #blackexcellence #grandfather #son